|
'In a Nutshell' - new ideas to keep you aware and informed
Effective Apology - John Kador
The news is filled with examples of failure to apologise, or of inadequate apologies, and the sometimes tragic consequences of this. In the book Effective Apology, John Kador looks at this whole area and its implications, summarised in the subtitle: 'mending fences, building bridges and restoring trust'. This is clearly an important subject for business today, particularly for leaders and managers. We can all learn from the failures of politicians and corporate bosses in recent times.
Essentially, Kador says, we don't need more apologies. What we need is better ones. A half-hearted or poorly communicated apology can actually cause more harm than good. Often the opportunity is lost for creating something really positive out of a situation where trust has broken down, relationship has been damaged or confidence undermined.
Effective Leadership is Impossible without Effective Apology
Kador shows how a well-formulated and sincere apology can represent a significant business asset as well as making a personal difference - defusing resentment, avoiding litigation, restoring trust, building goodwill and rebuilding relationships stronger than they were before. He says it is the most courageous conversation we can have - honouring the relationship above the need to be right. It is not cost-free to apologise but the cost of not apologising or doing so badly is far higher.
Effective Apology challenges us to consider the fundamental values associated with authentic apology; one that restores and renews. Kador points out that real apology is associated nowadays with those qualities that leaders aspire to: strength, integrity and character rather than what people fear in making an apology - weakness and humiliation.
The Five Rs of Wholehearted Apology
Effective Apology is an expression of accountability, transparency and humility - all attributes of effective leaders. Kador identifies five essential elements of crafting and delivering a confident apology - as opposed to just going through the motions. He calls them the 'Five Rs' of wholehearted apology:
-
Recognise the wrong and the person who has been harmed by it
-
Accept moral Responsibility for your actions and their consequences
-
Express Remorse
-
Provide meaningful Restitution
-
Offer genuine assurance that the offense will not be Repeated
"I believe that skill at apologizing is nothing short of a strategic competence."
Tom Peters
"My mother could make anybody feel guilty -
she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know!"
Joan Rivers
|
