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A Little Book of Listening Skills for the Workplace - by Mark Brady
This little book makes some big claims, offering 52 practices for 'profoundly transforming production, profits and people'. And it's true, even a few of these skills, if consistently used, will make a real practical difference. This is a particularly useful reference book at a time when managers and leaders are increasingly being asked to develop a 'coaching style' - sometimes without the practical understanding and tools needed to do so.
Some of the simple steps Brady suggests to develop your listening skills include:
Stop talking so much!
The fastest and most effective thing you can do to become a more skilled listener is very simple: stop talking so much. In any conversation it's easy to notice if one person is hogging the conversation. The first step is just to notice when that happens, and to develop this primary awareness so that you can then take steps to change the balance towards listening more. Simple ways of doing this are either to acknowledge it - "I'm talking too much. Tell me what your thoughts on this are?" - or just smiling and nodding can encourage another person to continue or amplify what they are saying.
Be slow to disagree, criticise or argue, even if you don't agree
It's common in a dynamic workplace for there to be disagreement, and indeed it can be creative and generate new ideas and actions. But engaging in such behaviour early in a conversation means that you are not truly listening to what the other person is wanting to say - instead you focus on your point and what you want to say. Skillful listeners hear the other person out, even asking questions for clarification, before then putting their own point of view. Doing so with explicit acknowlegement of what the other person has said is a powerful way of turning the conversation into a positive experience for both, rather than an exchange where both feel they have not been listened to or understood.
Get comfortable with silence
Silence is an essential part of being a good listener. Many people feel uncomfortable when there's a pause in a conversation and jump in to fill the gap. Instead, staying quiet allows time for you both to reflect and discover what you feel or think at a deeper level than the surface interaction that is our customary mode. If you're comfortable with silence, the other person will be too.
Listen for opportunities for 'executive neglect'
Executive neglect is about finding those things that are not critical to success and stopping doing them. Sometimes the most positive step forward is not about doing things more or differently, but stopping. Keeping your awareness open and listening out for cues can tell you when something you're doing is of low value or actually getting in the way of more useful activity. Listen for these opportunities and check out with others what they think about them.
Develop the art of curiosity
Being curious about things can be learned and developed. Watch how children are naturally curious and learn from them. It makes for much more interesting and rewarding questions and develops a state of genuine listening for the deeper meaning in what is being said in response. Sincere curiosity feels respectful and creates the opportunity for much more creative and generative conversations.
"Nobody ever listened themselves out of a job."
Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the USA
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