Leadership Insights from Coaching on Call
'In a Nutshell' - new ideas to keep you aware and informed
 
The Power of a Positive No - by William Ury 
 
Most of us recognise the difficulty of saying 'no'. Even the toughest sometimes find themselves saying 'yes' when all their instincts are screaming nnnoooooooooo! Why? Because of a genuine and often well-founded concern that saying no will alienate or upset the other person. We sometimes allow our behaviour to be run by fear and avoidance.
 
Saying yes to inappropriate demands can be as obstructive as delivering a negative no. Both block other possibilities, damage relationships and can lead to lose/lose.
  
Yet with so many pressures on your time and energy, prioritisation is essential - and every important YES requires a hundred nos. You cannot focus on what is of genuine value to you without being able truly to say no to what is not. 
 
William Ury's 3 practical steps to a powerful no:

1. Find the deeper YES - what is positive and true for you
  • Identify the core interest, need or value
  • Express your Yes to the other
  • Stay true to your Yes

 2. Deliver a respectful NO
  • Don’t reject, offer respect
  • Keep your tone neutral and matter-of-fact
  • Empower your No with a plan

3. Negotiate to a healthy YES
  • Healthy Yes = a positive outcome/relationship - win/win
  • Follow your No with a positive proposal
  • Facilitate an agreement that respects both sides

More on William Ury's work here                     

 "A 'No' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble."
Mahatma Gandhi